Filed in in Games

Swing Swing is the most brain-dribbling simple game we think we've ever had as a Slackerjack. All you have to do in Swing is swing from a rope and see how far you can get. That's it: two mouse clicks and Swing is over.

But you'll be playing Swing for hours. The Swing leaderboard says that some players can swing for 414 metres. Then why can't we get any further than 400? Tell us, damnit! Three hours of Swing has left us with nothing more than a slightly dizzy feeling and zero self-esteem. Thanks a lot, Swing.

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SLACKERJACK - Embryo Escape
Filed in in Games

Embryo_escape Anyone who owns a stem cell research clinic knows how tricky it is to look after the embryo batch. All you want to do is test the embryos by poking them with pencils until they tell you how to cure paralysis, but the route to the laboratory is fraught with danger.

That's the basic premise of Embryo Escape, anyway. Embryo Escape is just like Lemmings, but much more controversial. You have to guide the fleet of embryos using kegs of radioactive material and all kinds of levers to try and keep the embryos away from the zombie priests and - bizarrely - angry men that want to stomp them into mush.

It's hard to tell whether Embryo Escape is for or against dicking around with embryos, but one thing's for sure: Embryo Escape will rock your world. Or mortally offend you. Don't write to us if it does, though...

Play Embryo Escape now

SLACKERJACK - Harold's Food Flinging Frenzy
Filed in in Games

Harolds_food_flinging_frenzy Have you seen Neighbours recently? Poor old Harold Bishop has been a bit down in the dumps; a relative of his died - or something - and now Harold has turned into a seething revenge machine.

What's going on? Didn't Harold Bishop used to be the quintessential jolly fat man? Weren't they the good times? We need to remind ourselves of happy Harold, and we'll do it with Harold's Food Flinging Frenzy. In Harold's Food Flinging Frenzy, you - as Harold - have to feed all of the regular cast of Neighbours (Toady, the wannabe rockstar doctor, the tattooed lesbian teacher, um, the others) by flicking the appropriate food items into their massive chomping faces. Ah, Harold's Food Flinging Frenzy - we've missed you.

Play Harold's Food Flinging Frenzy now

Filed in in Games

Napo_room Oh me oh my, the Grow Cube games keep on coming. That's undoubtedly a good thing - Grow Cube is perhaps our favourite thing ever, although today's game - Napo Room - isn't too far off it.

Napo Room is a game about a naked Asian man in an empty room, and it's your job to find the Napo Room solution by clicking the various items around the man to improve his life and help him with the girl. That's the girl, not the half-human half-mouse mutant thing that comes to get you halfway through. We could play Napo Room until it got dark and still not find the correct Napo Room solution. Thank God for search engines - cheating and finding the correct Napo Room solution was all we could do to stop our descent into full blown dementia.

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SLACKERJACK - Ball Toucher
Filed in in Games

Ball_toucher_1 Ball Toucher is a game of dexterity and skill. Ball Toucher will wring out every last drop of grace and poise from your body as you try to touch all the white balls with your black square and avoid all the blue balls. You need to be at the very top of your game to succeed at an immensely difficult game like Ball Toucher.

Oh come on, it's a game called Ball Toucher, for God's sake. We were sniggering for 20 minutes when we first saw it. And sniggering even harder when we heard the Michael Jackson soundtrack.

Play Ball Toucher now

SLACKERJACK - Sushi Samurai
Filed in in Games

Sushi_samurai There's nothing in the world like a steaming bowl of sushi for breakfast. Mmm, raw fish and green mustard? Yes please! But have any of you ever stopped to think how sushi is actually made?

Sushi Samurai is an educational game that aims to realistically portray the actual construction of some sushi. As Sushi Samurai demonstrates, each piece of sushi in the world is put together by a tiny samurai who runs up and down some kind of rudimentary bamboo framework, stamping bits of sushi through the floor with his bare feet. But the world of the Sushi Samurai is not an easy one - there are mushrooms and fish that try to kill the Sushi Samurai for stealing all the sushi. However, these can be frozen to the spot by a lobbing well-aimed handful of wasabi into their eyes. Hooray for the Sushi Samurai!

Play Sushi Samurai now

SLACKERJACK - The Streaking Game
Filed in in Games

Streaking_game Streaking is brilliant, isn't it? A sporting event isn't a sporting event to us unless some right ugly sod has whipped all their clothes off, leapt over the barriers and run around the playing area jiggling their scrotums around for everyone to see.

Most of us don't have the, ahem, balls for streaking, and that's why The Streaking Game will be such an important thing in your life. The rules to The Streaking Game are simple - you run around a field getting chased by the police. The more people that see your hairy balls, the more money you get paid. Be careful of the policeman's helmets, though - whereas in usual streaking cases, a helmet is used for an informal genital shelter, in The Streaking Game, they fire drawing pins.

Play The Streaking Game now

Desperate Housewives To Become Ill-Advised PC Game
Filed in in Games, Television

Marcia_cross_hair_desperate_housewives_1 Desperate Housewives is the TV show that everyone is talking about - and by 'everyone' we means 'about three people who work for magazines and make their living telling everyone what to think.'

But soon, Desperate Housewives won't be the TV show that everyone is talking about - Desperate Housewives will be the PC game that everyone is talking about. Because some bright spark has decided that the world can't live without a Desperate Housewives computer game. Weird - we didn't think that the sort of people that watched Desperate Housewives would be the same sort of people who played computer games all the time.

SLACKERJACK - Acorn Antics
Filed in in Games

Acorn_antics Ice Age 2 is coming out very soon. That's bad news for people who wish that Jay Leno wouldn't be in films, but good news for people who like playing brilliant puzzle games like Acorn Antics.

Acorn Antics
is the Ice Age 2 game by the folks at Capri Sun, and a right little treat it is, too. In Acorn Antics there are a number of acorns, and a little bucket. All you have to do is get the acorns into the bucket by placing all kinds of blocks, flappy birds and pingy branches in their way. Acorn Antics is another one of those games that slowed our productivity down to a pathetic trickle when we first played it.

Play Acorn Antics now

Filed in in Games

Fame_game You read hecklerspray. From that, we can ascertain that you're either a phenomenally clever celebrity connoisseur or a nutter who leaves us comments like "take it in your mouth, you and your poor woman."

Either way, The Fame Game is for you. It's devilishly easy thing to play - think a Blockbusters Gold Run just about fame questions and without Bob Holness - and the questions are tough enough to test even the most hardcore celebrity stalker. Plus you can win a box full of DVDs if you complete The Fame Game.

Play The Fame Game now